Funny Things Only Nigerians Do

Fela sef talk am say "if you suffer for
world na your fault be that” observe the
mentality of a Nigerian
1. When a Nigerian buys a newspaper he
goes through the first few pages which
cover terrorist attacks,political mayhem
and poverty but when he gets to the IPOs
and business ads he rips the paper up and
wipe his a*ss with it.

2. Nigerians use their upfront salary to
buy a car ,rent an expensive flat and get
married then when money finish, they go
Nigerian standard of living sucks
3. When it comes to mingling in Nigeria
Yorubas hate igbos ,igbos hate yorubas
while Hausas hate them both then later
they give the suffer head speech to
succeed in Nigeria its who you know
4. Nigerians prefer to rent a house while
building another house rather buying a
house on mortgage while building another
then they wonder why real properties
belong only to rich people
5. Nigerians be like I can only take
nollywood seriously when their movies
start becoming more creative and
competitive then half of a yellow sun and
October 1st come out and then Nigerians
be like mtchew I go come watch Nigerian
film for cinema when alaba dey there
6. Nigerians be like Nigerians consume
more than they produce Nigeria cant
move forward if we import more than we
produce then MINDA phones come out and
d’banj brings out koko garri and Nigerians
be like yeah right like I will risk MINDA
phone exploding in my ear and d’banj dey
sell garri when e mates dey win grammy
7. Nigerians be like security in the
country is very poor what is government
doing bla bla but when security
announcements or programmes are on tv
they be like f*ck this sh*t I’m watching a
telemundo
8.Nigerians grumble about how we suck at
soccer but then when NPL is on Nigerians
be like mtchew EPL wannabe I don’t
watch such
9. Nigerians be like I’m tired of the
hardship in this country and the solution
is to forge account papers and travel
papers ,get out of the country then go
assume a dead persons identity or
contract a bride to fool authorities into
granting me citizenship,after all that
they begin to wonder why the nation is so
corrupt
10. Nigerians be like 70% of Nigerians
live in poverty and deprivation how many
people can boast of eating three square
meals then NGOs/charity organizations
come up and Nigerians be like SCAM!
11. Nigerians complain of how dirty and
disgusting Nigerian environment looks
then they slam dunk a plastic bottle in
the middle of the road then take a piss in
a nearby gutter and sleep during
sanitation days
12. World bank calls Nigerian economy the
largest in Africa and Nigerians be like
mtchew largest economy where the people
survive on less than $5 a day bla bla then
they wonder why foreigners(who took
advantage of the opportunity) boss them
around in their own country
Moral of the story: do your part and
appreciate progress even though as you
say they are mediocre, sometimes in life
it’s the little things that pack the biggest
punch.
Happy independence day.